I know we've had a number of disagreements in the past. You've hurt me, and I've avoided you for weeks at a time. I let you dictate my life in my past, but I stopped letting you control how I go through my day.
Some of my friends talk about their dreams and laugh about their silliness. Their dreams are light, lunch table conversations. Their dreams make them smile, happy. Why can't you do that for me? Why do you, instead, make my heart pound in my chest? Why do you frighten me?
Could I please enjoy you? Don't give me a crazy, too far to reach, hope of the future. That would still hurt. But, I could handle that if it meant I didn't have to feel loss and pain all over again in my sleep.
I thought we had come to an agreement. You don't scare me, and I won't wish for a fairytale. No dreams is better than nightmares.
I understand that you don't act on your own power, but that doesn't mean I have to like you. I'm asking you to stop. With everything else I deal with in my day, I don't want to have to work to sleep. Please let go of your hold on my resting mind.